How to Dress Like a Buddhist
#19 Drip, Drip, Drip, the Bucket Fills
Back in the early 90’s, Gelek Rimpoche used to travel from Ann Arbor to NYC every Tuesday for our local Jewel Heart sangha gathering. It was early days for the NYC sangha and we didn’t have an official dharma center yet, so we met in Philip Glass’s kitchen, which was big enough for a couch, a few chairs and a coffee table. It was pretty cozy but everybody knew everybody so it was friendly and fun. I sat on the floor with a few of the other younger members and Allen Ginsburg, who was the most fun of all.
One summer Tuesday evening Rimpoche was late. It was before texting so we didn’t know what was happening but we were content to wait. We knew it would be worth it.
Finally, Rimpoche arrived, wearing his Jewel Heart tee-shirt, shorts and flip flops. He walked in and calmly apologized. Then he told us this story.
He had already been running late when he arrived at the Detroit airport. I guess he was rushing because a tall young man noticed and offered to carry his duffel bag. As they were getting close to the departure gate, the young man said, “I see that your tee-shirt is from Jewel Heart in Ann Arbor. I’ve heard that the teacher there is really amazing.” Rimpoche smiled, thanked him for his help, and got on the plane.
We all had a good laugh at the story of this good samaritan who didn’t recognize that Rimpoche was that amazing teacher. Clearly, the kind stranger didn’t realize that even Buddhist lamas sometimes wear standard American summer menswear.
Although Rimpoche shared this story with good humor, like most every thing he said or did, it was a teaching. One that I had heard before in a different way.
When I first started studying and practicing Buddhism, I was very gung-ho. I was on fire for learning the dharma, scouring East West Books on Fifth Avenue and subscribing to every Buddhist magazine. I was and still am, genuinely happy to have been introduced to the Buddhadharma.
At the same time, it also seemed like it was kind of cool to be a Buddhist. I had even started buying Tibetan-ish style clothes—shawls and kurtas—designed by Phelgye and sold at Do Kahm, his charming shop in Soho.
The first time I made a purchase there Pelgye took my credit card and rang up it up while I was browsing the jewelry case. I wasn’t paying attention to him as he handed back my card but when I grabbed it he didn’t let it go.
I looked up and Phelgye was bowing slightly, elegantly holding my card with both hands. I immediately understood. I placed my other hand on the card so that now we were both holding my card and bowing. In a moment, Phelgye had transformed an ordinary, unconscious, commercial transaction into a thoughtful exchange. I bowed to him and said thank you. Like Gelek Rimpoche, Pelgye was an ex-monk. He used his shop as a stealth teaching center: you walk in to buy a skirt and walk out with a dharma lesson.
Around that same time, I went to one of my first Jewel Heart meetings wearing some Buddha earrings and a cute tie-dyed Buddha t-shirt.
Rimpoche started talking about one of his students who was frustrated with her husband. She complained that he wouldn’t become a vegetarian and didn’t want to meditate. She was thinking of leaving him because she felt she just couldn’t relate to him anymore.
Rimpoche explained that being a dharma practitioner is not about trying to change other people, especially not from the outside in. It’s not about what they eat or do or won’t do. It’s about how we live our lives from the inside out.
Then Rimpoche said “Don’t shave your head. Don’t wear your malas around your wrist like jewelry. Don’t wear Buddha earrings.”
It is said that one of the signs of a great Tibetan Buddhist Vajra master like Rimpoche is that everyone thinks he is talking right to them. In that moment I was sure he was talking to me as I subtly slid my hand up to my ears and slipped off my tiny Buddha earrings, dying of embarrassment.
In The Guide to a Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, Shantideva writes:
Where would I possibly find enough leather
With which to cover the surface of the earth?
But wearing leather just on the soles of my shoes
Is equivalent to covering the earth with it.
Likewise it is not possible for me
To restrain the external course of things;
But should I restrain this mind of mine
What would be the need to restrain all else?
This is what Rimpoche was talking about and it’s called Spiritual Maturity. We love to blame things and people outside of us for our suffering. “Oh, if only that person would change, then I could be happy.”
Shantideva flips that paradigm and says that instead of expecting the whole world to be covered with leather, a Bodhisattva takes responsibility for covering their own feet. And instead of expecting others to make them happy, a bodhisattva assuages their own suffering by taming their mind.
The practice lives in our heart. It comes out in our speech and actions. More than reciting mantras or sitting in meditation, living the practice is the best offering we can give to the world.
Now… if you are a monk or an ordained clergy you do wear a robe. Doing that is advertising that you are a Buddhist, not because you think you are cool but so that those who are suffering, lost, left behind, or hungry, will know that you are willing to be a refuge for them.
When I was ordained as a Buddhist lay chaplain, I handsewed my rakusu, a bib-like garment. The outer side, which is visible, is simple black cotton. The inside is soy milk-bleached white cotton. No one sees the inside of my rakusu but it means everything and I wear it over my heart.
This is where Roshi Joan Halifax wrote my new dharma name and the Boddhisattva’s vow. Then she signed and dated it. She explained that a rakusu represents the robe of the Buddha. It lets anyone know that if they need help or refuge, they can approach me and I will walk alongside them.
Whether you are clergy or lay, all practitioners take vows. Here is the Boddhisattva’s vow written inside my rakusu:
Vast is the robe of liberation
A formless field of benefaction
I wear the tathagata’s teaching
Saving all sentient beings.
Practice Opportunities
Grow your practice by committing to 5 days in a row. This is how meditation can become part of your everyday life.
Each day I will offer a lesson on the nuts and bolts of meditation, as well as how the practice relates to the rest of your life. On Day 1 I will give specific mindfulness meditation instruction and we will sit for a short period. Every day the instruction will deepen and the length of the sitting periods will grow.
Grow your practice gradually with each retreat. Longer times allow you to drop in a little deeper. Sessions include a dharma talk, sitting meditation, stretching, breathwork, group discussion.
Path
APRIL 14 11:30-2:30
Connecting mindfulness meditation practice to life off the cushion. How the technique can be applied to all your relationships.
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JUNE 9 11:30-3:30
Recognizing the benefits of the practice and how the Path has helped you move from your starting ground closer to your aspirations.
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Explore the notion of sustainability in yoga. This work is about presence, curiosity, and personal connection; it is never goal-oriented or performative.
Through nourishing movement designed to balance your physical and mental strength, you will embody sustainability as you experience:
Inspiring dharma talks
Medium-paced asana flows that combine precision and playfulness
Meditation for focus, awareness, and mental nimbleness
Breathwork to regulate the nervous system
Restorative yoga to relax and refresh
Return home feeling more energized and expanded in your capacity to move, breathe, and live well into the future.
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Spiritual refuge offers a path for connecting to the basic goodness of the body, breath, and mind. Breathwork, meditation, and OM Yoga are all effective tools that offer healing, self-awareness, compassion, and mindfulness.
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Enhance your work as a yoga or meditation teacher.
Begin, or further, your Buddhist studies.
Transform boredom into curiosity.
Each day’s work will build on the day before so you can observe the effects of your practice. Return home with resources that offer you a refuge for the rest of your life.
This retreat is open to everyone! Our practice will focus primarily on sitting and walking mindfulness meditation, sustainable yoga, and restorative yoga. Yoga props will be available in the yoga studio and modifications will be offered for everyone. Each morning will include a short dharma talk and group discussion.
Trainings
Restorative yoga is about moving into a state of being, away from the normal activity of the body and the mind. By channeling the energies of the body — wind, blood, lymph — through specific pathways, restorative yoga creates a deep sense of relaxation and rejuvenation.
This course is open to yogis, yoga teachers, body workers, social workers — anyone who would like to deepen their own yoga practice and/or share this work with others.
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Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Training: A Self-Guided 2-Part Program is a course Cyndi Lee designed to help meditators of all levels learn a new approach to meditation or refresh and deepen their existing practice. In the second part of the course, you'll learn how to teach meditation and listen to enriching dharma talks from Cyndi that will inspire both your practice and your teaching.
Do you love restorative yoga? So much so that you’d like to teach it to others? Or perhaps you’d simply like to add more restorative postures into your home practice, but you’re not quite sure where to start. In either case, we have the course for you! Join world-renowned teacher Cyndi Lee for a comprehensive restorative yoga teacher training program.
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