Two Exciting Announcements! Two Practices!

#45 Drip, Drip, Drip, the Bucket Fills

Sep 26, 2024

Hello, friends!

Apologies for going Substack silent for a little while. I’ve been busy working on a new project and now, I’m ready to share the news.

TWO EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENTS!

I’m thrilled to announce that I have a contract with Chronicle Books for Long Life Yoga, which will be published in spring 2026.

Long Life Yoga will be offer targeted asana practices, meditations, breathwork and philosophical inspiration for keeping strong, balanced, nimble, calm and resilient as you age—which is happening every day. Long Life Yoga is about longterm well-being, feeling good every day at every age, and will include practices for women's health at all ages.

My 50 years (gasp!) of yoga and Buddhist practice and study, have always given me confidence in my capacity to keep growing and flowing through each decade: East Village starving artist, aerobics teacher, modern dancer, marital break-up, founding and running OM Yoga Center, menopause, autoimmune disease and Lyme disease.

Now it’s time for me to pass this goodness on to you in a way that is accessible, fun, and I hope, motivating!

ALSO…

Starting next week, I’m going to begin a series focusing on dharma questions sent to me from Sarah Polley.

You may know Sarah from her wonderful book, Run Towards the Danger, or the movie she directed, Women Talking, for which she won the 2023 Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay.

You might not know that she is a longtime meditator and always has lots of questions for me about how to translate meditation study and practice into action in her everyday life—family, work, activism, and friendships.

Once a month I will write a post that offers answers, perspectives, or at least food for thought from one of Sarah’s questions. Her questions are so good and they are probably some of the same questions you have, so stay tuned.

TWO HELPFUL PRACTICES:

1. Extricating Yourself from a Thicket of Thorns

Lately I’ve had a lot on my mind. Some of it is worth contemplating, and then there is the rest. When I teach meditation, new students often express disappointment that their mind did not go blank during the practice. Yes, you will still have thoughts. Some days those thoughts have the quality of soft snow falling on the other side of the window. On other days, your thoughts can seem like a ticker tape rolling out non-stop.

I often refer to this kind of seemingly solid discursive thinking as chaparral, like the underbrush of a desert landscape. Chaparral consists of specific shrubs which become increasingly impenetrable as they grow. It’s an apt image for those thickets of thoughts that come up in your mind and, like food that expands in your stomach, swell up and take over your consciousness.

Sometimes there is an issue that needs to be unpacked and perhaps, resolved. But usually when I come out of a thought long enough to really see what is in that thicket, it is seldom a big deal; just something that just didn’t sit right with me. A situation that is chafing at me or maybe a frustration about how things are working out.

This feeling is often what’s called an “afflictive emotion”—anxiety, anger, jealousy, impatience—that turns into a fantasy re-do. “If only I did this…. or said that… ” It becomes an obsession that rolls around and around until, like play-doh, it gets formed into something stinky and solid and stuck under your fingernails.

These kinds of thoughts could be categorized as righteous annoyance, which is a lite-version of righteous anger. I don’t want to let go of my annoyance because…. why? Almost 100% of the time when I ask myself that question the only answer is what Zen chants refer to as “ancient, twisted karma.”

It is just a habit; gnawing on something that is annoying you until you find a way to divide people into opposite sides and make your side the right side. That’s the righteous part of righteous annoyance.

On the other hand, it’s a big waste of energy. And this is the practice I have been working with this week.

First, you have to recognize that you are chewing on an emotional thought bone that is not worth it. You have to admit to yourself that it’s not important, that you are not going to do anything about it. Recognize that this righteous annoyance has devolved into an old, boring story and that you’re ready to move on.

Then, take a breath in through your nose.

Exhale through your nose as you say to yourself:

CHANGE YOUR MIND AND RELAX WITH THINGS AS THEY ARE.

This phrase is one of 59 slogans from the Lojong Teachings of Atisha. I know quite a few of these by heart but this is the one I remember best because when I first encountered it, it really pissed me off.

Actually, I was already pissed off, and when I saw this phrase posted on the wall of a retreat center I got even more annoyed. I couldn’t abide the hierarchical nature of this particular retreat. I resented how women and men were assigned seating on opposite sides of the hall. Not to mention, the food was bad and the housing was awful.

I left the retreat and walked back into the crummy dorms, where I turned a corner and saw that Lojong phrase posted on the wall. Have you ever gotten mad at a piece of paper? I did!

There was no way I was going to change my mind. My only interest was indulging my resentment and irritation and hanging on to my very bad mood.

The wonderful Buddhist teacher, Judy Lief, explains that this Lojong phrase highlights one of our most habitual attitudes: the attitude that you yourself are more important than others.

Of course, no one wants to be that person—the self-centered person who values their opinion over others. But, inevitably, that attitude is the crux of most of our righteous annoyances. Somebody did or said something we don’t like, and we are stewing over it because we forgot that we are all interconnected. We forgot that other people have their own point of view. We forgot that when we get this way, we turn into an impenetrable clump of chaparral which is itchy and claustrophobic.

After pondering this Lojong phrase for many years, I have come to love it. Changing my mind and relaxing doesn’t feel like an unreasonable demand. It feels like a relief, a gift, a practice that is available to me at any time.

When you feel the tension of righteous annoyance, breath in again and as you breath out, open up to what is right in front of you. Feel the texture of the air on your skin. See what you see and relax with that.

Even when your mind is hardened into a fist, you can still relax just like that. You can actually do it in a finger snap. You might not want to but if you have the curiosity to find out how that would feel, then you can do it.

I took a yoga class once where the teacher guided the class into a resting position on our backs. Then she said, “Now, drop immediately into savasana for one minute.” What a great instruction!

At any moment, you can relax your whole body just like that. You can open your mind in one breath. You will discover that your mind is like the sky, vast, without center and without boundary.

How to Combine this Practice with Another Good Practice

Combine the practice of Change Your Mind and Relax with Things As They Are with an after-dinner constitutional. No matter where I’ve been in the world, I’ve taken a walk after dinner almost every single night since March 2020.

Walking outside is when I most easily recognize that I am stuck in mental chaparral. Being outside, seeing the sunsets, smelling the sage, playing with the neighborhood dogs and cats all remind me that I am part of something bigger than my grumpiness and my opinions.

I also recently learned that this is a tradition in Italy called La Passeggiata. Functional doctor, Mark Hyman, recommends it because it improves digestion, regulates blood sugar and helps you live longer. Relaxing with things as they are helps you live longer, too.

PRACTICE OPPORTUNITIES

*** Paid Subscribers - Don't Forget! You get a discounted price on all online retreats with me. We have one coming up next week! ***

My penultimate mini-retreat for 2024 is next week. It is only 30 minutes/day in which we will meditate, stretch, breath and….I will talk about how Mindfulness Protects You.

There are various Protectors: Surgeon, Farmer and even one called Extricating Yourself from a Thicket of Thorns.

Learn More & Register